Of Gringos and Goats

I went on a chiva ride last week. Chiva means (female) goat in Spanish, but I wasn’t riding an actual goat, the reality of chiva riding in Ecuador is somewhat less dignified than mealy mounting small farmyard mammals. A chiva is what they call a sort of flat top lorry that has been converted into a travelling disco. Not a travelling DJ, but the whole disco; dance floor, bar, light show, mislaid handbags, the whole caboodle.

Mobile disco, complete with lazer show, disco ball, pole dancing, and rope to hang on to

It was Tony and Alyssa’s leaving party, they are a couple of English teachers from the USA. They have been friends since we arrived in Ecuador. These are nice gringos, but many other gringos just aren’t.  The majority of proper gringos (i.e. from the USA) are not necessarily the opposite of nice, nasty, but are at best useless. The problem seems to be that they come here to pep-up their resumes, but have absolutely no concept that things could be done any differently to how they are in Pigsknuckle, Arkansas. They object to the public breast feeding, because this should be taboo, as it properly is at home. They travel to remote towns to experience the culture and then complain that there are no KFCs or Burger Kings. They really do, they whine about this and multiple other differences all the time.

A nice looking vehicle, seriously pimped

The chiva ride was a shining example of gringos abroad. A group I spoke to were here to do ‘charity work’. The resourceful but poor Ecuadorians must be so bursting with glee that some naive rich college kids from the USA have come down to explain to them how to live. Essentially these kids are allowed to hang around, for a fee, until they have enough fodder for their resumes and a return to corporate fascism at home. So these charity workerss on the chiva, showed there respect for the host culture by flashing their arses off the side of the disco/bus. At police cars. After a police warning they switched to a new technique of showing their affection, pissing off the side of the disco as it careered through the city centre.

Blurred arse to the cops

Pissing on Quito

I suppose British people do the same thing to mainland Europe, some Spanish towns have been culturally ransacked to provide ersatz British style retirement and holiday resorts. It’s almost a national preoccupation for the British to do this. Perhaps it’s a good thing then that the majority of people from the USA don’t have passports, only a minority ever venture abroad. The rate of cancer spread is limited.

One of the chiva-pissers sent me a Facebook friend request the following day, yeah right, that’s going to happen. When Hell freezes over, or a person from the USA comprehends why Ecuadorians are Americans too.